Women are often sexualized in the media and in real life, which can drive us to suppress, hide, or feel ashamed of our sensuous natures, even subconsciously. But we shouldn’t let what others say affect how we experience our lives and ourselves. You might not realize what you’re missing, but there is strength in connecting to your senses. Here is our guide on regaining your sensuous power.
Sensuous vs. Sensual
Before anything, it’s important to know that there’s a difference between a sensuous and a sensual woman. These terms are used interchangeably nowadays but these words are like twins, similar but not exactly identical.
The source of confusion comes from the shared root, ‘sens’. This means that both words are fixed on sense experiences, but each word still has its own nuances.
While those differences exist, language is an ever-evolving world dictated by how people understand it. These words are used interchangeably without any need for clarification.
Sensuality is about appealing to the carnal side of the senses and lighting up the sexual side in everyone. To be sensuous is to appeal to the senses, without necessarily any racy undertones. It’s an experience that inspires a reaction from your senses. Being sensuous could also connote being in touch with the five senses.
It comes as a surprise to learn that many live out their lives disconnected from their senses. Yes, you feel hot summer days, taste sweet honey, and hear the low motor of your laptop as you work. Your senses work but being sensuous goes beyond simply working.
Sensing Comes First
Newness encourages the senses. Stepping into an unfamiliar country, your senses start to bathe in colorful streets, fresh scents, and foreign voices. However, as familiarity sets in, the senses take a step back into mundanity. Our senses unintentionally dull, and awaken again only for the next newest thing to come along.
Having a sense-first perspective slows down your life and changes your pace in the best ways. Taking care to notice everything around you is a brilliant way to enhance the quality of your everyday life. Doing this helps you define the things you enjoy, the things you’d rather avoid, and everything in between!
Being sensuous focuses on learning more about who you are and what works for you.
Sense and Self-love
Everyone can do with a little dose of self-love. Even the most confident woman you know could need a shot of self-love when the world gets too overwhelming.
Though self-love can’t be liquified and carried around as a secret pick-me-up for bad days, your senses can help instead.
Knowing your desires. Being sensuous is all about awareness. Use your senses to explore everything that appeals to you, as well as everything that you don’t particularly want to experience again. This can be as simple as buying perfume, smiling, or dressing your best every day.
It’s also about being sensual with yourself. Exploring your body and getting to know what works best is important, especially if you want to spice up your sex life. But be warned, this is just the first step.
Accepting your desires. Your senses like what they like, even if sometimes they feel like guilty pleasures. In these instances, it’s important to make an effort to accept them, regardless of how guilty those things could make you feel.
You could also have some sexual desires and kinks that might be difficult to accept because of society or negative experiences. It’s important to acknowledge all your desires and accept them for what they are. Your body is yours before anyone else’s, and you have the right to enjoy it fully.
Not accepting your desires can be a huge stumbling block in the journey of self-love. Denying who you are, in or out of the bedroom, is one way to close your senses and get stuck in a state of unhappiness.
Additionally, you don’t have to give in every time you yearn for something. Self-love is also about being mindful and enjoying life without harming yourself or anyone around you.
Sense and Femininity
Women have been backed into a corner for decades. Femininity has been argued over, smeared at, put on a pedestal, and more. You don’t need to fit into a mold to be feminine, you just need to embrace your womanhood for all it is.
Body positivity. Body positivity is an important aspect of being sensual. It’s hard to feel sexy if you’re too dissatisfied with your body to focus on anything else. Shifting your focus from your insecurities to how your body (and senses) serve you is an awesome road to go down. Your body doesn’t need to meet a specific size to be feminine and happy. Your body was designed to help you enjoy and live through life, no matter the size it comes in.
Forget all about society. Society will tell you how to look, what to like, and how to sound to be feminine. What does your body tell you? It’s probably not close to what society says.
Leave behind that pressure to look like an Instagram model, to be in a relationship, or to fake your orgasm. Instead, be the sensuous woman you want to be and please your senses without a drop of guilt. Only you can determine what it means to be feminine. Trying to meet society’s unrealistic expectations is a shortcut to suffocating yourself and muting your sensory experiences.
Awakening your inner goddess. Being sensuous is deeply intertwined with empowerment and discovering more about yourself. All women are powerful, beautiful, sensual creatures with valid desires. The differences in each woman, rather than being negative, are what set her apart. These unique qualities are what make up the goddess within her, in all her enlightened and sensuous feminine glory.
Sense and Sexuality
Like how the senses have a hand in self-love in femininity, they are also involved in sexuality. Sensuality, though more sexual in nature, is still about how your senses experience the world and how it affects you. Being sensual doesn’t have to lead to sex but when it does, it’s magic.
The role of your senses in sex. Your senses play a huge part in your intimate life. It enhances your awareness of everything you hear, see, taste, smell, and touch. It helps you have a deeper connection with whoever you’re with and it might be what’s missing from your sex life. Since having a routine tends to dull your senses, it could also bleed into your sex life and your relationship with others. Engaging your senses regularly, without even thinking about sex, will help add fire to your life.
Sensuality outside the bedroom. Contrary to popular belief, sensuality starts outside of sex. Your body’s enjoyment of everyday sensations deepens your pleasure in the bedroom. You don’t need sex to be sexual. Keeping in tune with your sexual power without feeling the pressure to engage in sex is a great way to practice sensuality. It can be as simple as dressing sexy, exploring aphrodisiacs, or appreciating your own reflection. The build-up to the bedroom can be just as fun as the sex itself, even if you’re just teasing yourself.
Sensuality in the bedroom. Sex isn’t just a task you get done, it’s something you can savor. This is where sensuality enters. Trying things like self-stimulation and erotica will help you get to know what your body needs to be satisfied. You don’t even have to do anything sexual on your own, just like how you don’t need a relationship to worship your body the way it deserves.
The Sensuous Woman Cheatsheet
Over and over again, we’ve said that to be a sensuous woman, you’ll need to go further than simply using your senses, you’ll need to engage them.
Your five senses can open up your entire worldview if treated well. The key to this is to be deliberate in all your experiences. Go slow and approach it like it’s new. If you have no clue where to start, try these!
Sight is taken for granted a lot of the time, used to see rather than to experience. Maximize your enjoyment of sight by trying these.
Visit a park and silently observe people and nature.
Spend a day at the museum and get lost in the art.
Take pictures of memorable moments.
Plan a hands-off experience with your partner where you touch each other as little as possible while still being intimate.
Did you know that smell is the strongest out of the five senses? The olfactory nerves have deep roots in memories and emotions. To harness more of its potential, here are some things you can try.
Deeply inhale the scent of your food before digging in.
Light some scented candles as you relax in a bubble bath.
Diffuse your favorite essential oil in your car and breathe in the scent as you drive.
Spray your sheets with your favorite scent before you sleep.
The sense of hearing is very sensitive. Just a few loud noises can damage your hearing abilities. Thankfully, to engage your ears, you don’t need to drown in loud noises.
Sit and listen to classical music.
Sing your favorite song without worrying about being pitch perfect.
Before you sleep or as you wake up, listen to the sounds of birds, your neighbors cooking, or of distant traffic.
Follow a guided self-stimulation audio file.
When food is delicious, we often pause to get its full taste. Flavor preferences vary from person to person, but whether you prefer sweet drinks or sour candy, these are some things you could try.
Eat your favorite meal from when you were a child.
Go to a wine, tea, or coffee tasting event and indulge your taste buds.
Try a cuisine you’ve never tried before.
Give food foreplay a chance.
Touch is largely associated with intimacy —— hugs, sex, and handholding are some ways people touch. As children, you probably remember running your hand over smooth and rough surfaces to learn how they feel.
Have fun with different textures, like silk, fur, or velvet, in your clothes and furniture.
Sleep naked on freshly changed silk sheets.
Practice kegel weights for longer orgasms.
Blindfold yourself and have someone caress your body with interesting textures.
You’ll never see the world the same way again after you’ve made the effort to be more sensuous. Your body, confidence, sexual prowess, and your relationship will undergo a transformation once you make the conscious decision to engage your senses. For something so powerful it can change your life, it is deceptively simple to achieve — emphasis on deceptive. It’s an effort to fill your senses every day, but as long as you keep at it, you’ll be seeing its effects in no time.